A Love Story

It was 1990.  Mr. Epilady‘s (His real name sounded like that. It is what the students called him) 8th grade government class.  I, being the nerd that I was, sat front and center everyday.  He sat at the very back right side of the class next to the bookshelf with the globes and maps.  He probably sat there and daydreamed of all the places he wanted to go.  He was a quiet guy.  Partly because he had a mouth full of metal.  Yet all the girls loved him.  He had the biggest gray-blue eyes with the darkest lushest lashes.  He hated his eyes because all his life women told him how beautiful they were.  He being a guy, did not want something a woman wanted.  Though I think he now has come to accept the amazing eyes that God gave him.  He has a familiar face.  Everyone always thinks they know him.  At 13 he looked like a certain NKOTB member.  I didn’t have cable or MTV when I was young and actually did not watch much TV.  So I did not know the essence of Joey McIntyre. I wasn’t really into boy bands at the time.  That came later in life in college when I got out of my parent’s house and watched MTV 24/7  even if I had seen Socal Spring Break reruns  for the milllionth time.  My first concert ,No Strings Attached Tour by another infamous boy band,  at the ripe age of 21 with all the other first-time concert goers who were like……. 11. 

Anyway,   I don’t remember him having any girlfriends.    I did like him.  Thought he was cute.  He was a bad boy.  A  bit of a trouble maker. Got in a lot of fights.  Not because he was the bully.  Mostly because he was sticking up for someone or something. He never carried a backpack or books.  Paper maybe folded in this pocket with a pen or pencil.  I don’t think he did homework.  Actually I know he didn’t.  I would find that out our senior year when he almost didn’t graduate and I helped him with an Economics project so he could.  But he got 90s and 100s on all the tests. He was so smart.   It kinda annoyed me because I studied my booty for those tests.  That annoyance soon turned to intrigue.

The current lesson, marriage laws.  Our teacher randomly paired the class for the project.  There was a little part of me who prayed to be paired with him. Sure enough Mr. Epilady paired us.    Each week our teacher would give you a box and it had a colored sticker that told you what event was happening in your life that week. We had to study the law and how it pertained to the event and journal it.  I was a doctor of course. He a sports commentator turned comedian.  We had two boxers named Mugsy and Bugsey.   One week we were having marital problems.  We had to state what our problem was and  had to go over all the divorce laws and decide what we were going to do. The problem we came up with was he was making fun of me in his standup and I was mad.  Hahaha. I don’t know what we did but I know we didn’t get divorced.  One week we had a baby.  We got a green sticker which meant boy.  We named him Tyler Mason.  I decorated the box and made it look like a little bed and cut a baby out of a magazine and put him in there.  Mind you all this time he still doesn’t talk much. He played house but I never could tell what he was thinking.  Then one day I told him  It’s your turn to take home the baby and I don’t want you to stuff him in your locker with all your other crap. That day as I walked home he passed by on the other side of the street on his bike.  He had his staple grey and coral Stussy shirt on and Girbaud jeans with the frayed ends that draped over beat up skate shoes.  Still no backpack.  But outlined in his pocket was a square shape.  The square that was our baby…….and I smiled and thought he listens. 

Little did I know I would marry him one day……..for reals.  Today is our anniversary and I am still giddy like a  junior high school girl.